This week, I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw that a friend is having a book published.
“Congratulations!” I messaged her. “You’ve worked so hard. I can’t wait to read it!”
And I meant those words. I’m proud of her. She’s brilliant, and she deserves all the success she’s had. She worked hard to get a tenured position in a field that’s openly hostile to women. She built her success increments at a time, and she’s finally being rewarded with the spoils of all that hard work.
But my celebration of her success was tinged with a sense of shame in myself.
There was a time when I’d planned to publish too. There was a time when I’d chased a tenure track career and the respect of a difficult field. There was a time when I’d hoped to travel the world and give talks and organize lectures.
There was a time when I thought I could control the way my life turned out. Continue reading “Journey Over Whiskey Bay”