Quietly Queer

Published on by J. Lewis4 Comments

About a week ago, my grandma called me. We barely got through the pleasantries before she started to cry, and thanked me for the card that I had sent her. When she told me that she wasn’t sure that she “deserved all that,” I immediately started to choke up, too. I had sent her a Mother’s Day card on a whim, just to tell her that I loved her and was inspired by her. I’d barely even thought about it. But to grandma, it meant the world. This is the kind of relationship my grandmother and I have. It really is something special, something that I struggle to put into words.

When I lived in Edmonton for a couple of years, I had a lot of trouble with housing arrangements, and ended up living with my maternal grandparents for most of my time there. It was hard, in the beginning, but as I matured and we got used to each other, it became intensely positive. We would all go on little dinner and ice cream dates, sit out on the deck and chat, eat slices of apple before bed. She would hold me when I was crying, help me when I was in crisis, and make me laugh every day. We became dear, dear friends. The entire time, I was keeping a secret. Continue reading “Quietly Queer” →

Flowers at Work

Published on by MoLeave a comment

I used to work at a sign shop. I spent nearly five years there before deciding to walk away. For the bulk of that time, I worked with a woman named Barb.

I was single during my first two years with the company. I wasn’t closeted in my personal life, but my gayness hadn’t really come up at work, because why would it? I had told a person or two, but most of my coworkers weren’t aware of my orientation – not for certain, anyway. Barb was no exception.

Kate and I started dating in late 2013. Because she’s the wooing sort, she used to send little treats to me at work now and then. She was sly about it, too. The very first time she brought me something, she slipped out before I even knew she’d been there. Our new receptionist brought a cup of Tim Horton’s hot chocolate to my desk. With it, she delivered one of Kate’s business cards, with the command “Enjoy!” neatly printed on it. Continue reading “Flowers at Work” →

A Wife By Any Other Name

Published on by Kate4 Comments

It seems to me, especially given my own experience, that women can get away with homoerotic behaviours far more than men can. Before – and since – coming out, I’ve made comments about my attraction to women and have had it accepted without the batting of a single eye. Many women talk about their female friends as girlfriends in a completely platonic fashion. Even confessed crushes have been brushed aside with nonchalant waves; intense feelings of attraction towards women apparently being a common occurrence amongst even the straightest of women. Continue reading “A Wife By Any Other Name” →

Butch? Please.

Published on by Mo4 Comments

(Originally posted on October 25, 2012 at I Dig Your Girlfriend.)

I’ve lived in Edmonton on and off for the past nine years. I’ve been a lesbian the entire time. But it’s only been six months since I officially joined Edmonton’s queer community. One random day in April, I decided enough was enough and I (cautiously) marched into the Pride Centre for a Women’s Social Circle dessert potluck. It was an intimidating but worthwhile experience. I met a lot of gay women that night, and I have met many more since then.

I consider my gaydar to be decent. Had I met these women under different circumstances, my rainbow alarm would have gone off for at least half. I am sure most people would agree with me when I say that the butchy lesbian is the most visible. She fits the stereotype we’ve all been taught to watch for… short hair, boy clothes, no makeup, no airs. She is easy to spot. Continue reading “Butch? Please.” →

Complex Queerness and Imposter Syndrome

Published on by Guest Author4 Comments

Guest post by Kristi.

When I was eleven, my best friend, Jane*, and I—both assigned female and sticking with it—spent our summers acting out the adventures of two characters we’d created. We rode our bikes around our neighborhood, shouting to each other what our characters were saying and doing. We fought and killed all the bad guys we stole shamelessly from our favorite TV shows. Our characters were elves who fought wizards and used magic; it was more or less cute, childish LARPing. The whole thing was the best send-up of the fantasy genre two children could improvise, and the stories always followed an unambitious pattern: travel together, see cool places, fight monsters, retire to a lake (Jane’s pool).

At some point, though, the story changed. I’d started experiencing non-platonic attraction to my female friend, and it bled into our shared fiction.  My feelings were confusing, but I was young and hormonal; I not-so-subtly manipulated the story in favor of our characters sharing a kiss. Continue reading “Complex Queerness and Imposter Syndrome” →

Virgin Territory

Published on by Mo1 Comment

I was a virgin for the entirety of my twenties. Now that I’m not one, I keep stumbling upon articles and stories on the ‘late in life virginity’ theme. (Did you guys know that Lisa Kudrow lost her virginity at 32?) It makes me wonder if the phenomenon is perhaps more common than I thought. It certainly never felt common when I was living it. Continue reading “Virgin Territory” →

Vampires and Werewolves and Queers! Oh My!

Published on by J. Lewis2 Comments

I would make out with almost every protagonist featured in Showtime’s Penny Dreadful. There, I’ve said it! Each and every one of them has their own delightfully unique appeal, once you’ve seen past their (usually numerous) faults. With the third season having premiered in Canada on May 3rd, I figured that it was a good time to review how the show has dealt with queer relationships up until now.

First, it’s necessary to say: this article will contain minor spoilers. With a cast as numerous as Penny Dreadful’s, there’s no way for me to explain any of these relationships without naming names. I’m going to do my utmost not to reveal any of the biggest twists of the series, but you’ve been warned! Spoiler-y content below. Continue reading “Vampires and Werewolves and Queers! Oh My!” →

#YEG – The Roost

Published on by Mo3 Comments

I was 23 when I went to my first gay bar. I don’t remember whose idea it was, but I know it wasn’t mine. Derek (my brother-in-law at the time) was good friends with a gay guy named Ian. Ian was close to my age; maybe a bit younger. He was the first gay person I ever talked to about the fact that I was a lesbian.

Ian informed us that the gay clubs don’t really pick up until late at night. We didn’t even leave the house before 10:30, which felt so ridiculous and out of character. Normally, I would have been thinking about bed at that hour. But we were new to Rome, so we were following Ian’s lead. Continue reading “#YEG – The Roost” →

Copycat Queer

Published on by Kate1 Comment

Fifteen years ago, I became a vegetarian.

I’d never really liked meat, unless it was a neatly trimmed chicken breast or the hyper processed junk you get at McDonald’s or other fast food places. Juicy homemade burgers made me gag. I had little interest in steak. I hated pork, and would nip tiny bites into the back of my mouth, swallowing them whole just to avoid tasting it or feeling its texture.

We had family stay with us during summer when I was young – aunt, uncle, and cousin. For medical reasons, they had adopted a vegetarian diet, so we provided as much vegetarian fare as possible. Before this, I had no idea you could opt out of eating meat. I learned a few years later from my cousin that my mother had taken her aside to ask her not to encourage me towards vegetarianism. But the desire not to eat meat was already strong in me. I became vegetarian shortly after their visit, to my parents’ dismay. Continue reading “Copycat Queer” →

Hello!

Published on by Mo1 Comment

Welcome to Butch Please!

My name is Mo, and I’m a thirty-something lesbian living in Edmonton, Alberta. I share a small apartment with my wife, Kate. She’s a late-twenties bisexual chick.

Kate and I each had our reasons for wanting to create a site like this. We’ve both enjoyed websites of a similar style, but lately we’ve noticed a decline in quality. Content has veered towards click-bait topics (misleading titles, intentional controversy) and click-heavy formats (list articles that make you click on a new page for each item). Many websites have become almost impossible to slog through due to the overwhelming number of ads. Continue reading “Hello!” →